Anecdotes
by Imaginarivalued
Summary: Teen Titans, at their best, at their worst.
1. Farm Life

"Okay, first question slash complaint: why are we on a steakout? Not only does that word highly offend my vegetarian lifestyle, it's also-"

"Uh hum. It's stakeout, Beast Boy, as in s-t-a-k-e combined with the word 'out'. If you're gonna be a female dog, then at least be grammatically correct."

"Bah! You can shove your dictionary wisdom up your tights clad buttocks! It's pronounced the same! I…… uh, _presume_! Ha!"

Robin sighed and pulled on a latex material of peachy color. "Well, humor my responsibly occupied mindset again, Beast Boy, what the heck is your problem?"

"Besides lacking the knowledge of common vocabulary and assorting appropriately as a greentard?" Raven scoffed as she pulled on some golden hay straws and dark cloth.

"Whoa! Insult my language ineptitudes all you want, but this blue-yellow mixture of a skin and this set of pointy ears are the new wave of hetero-erotics!"

"I sense some hormonal character conflict, BB. You overdosing on cough medicine and dog food, again?"

"Ahhh, go blow yourself out of the butthole, ya toaster!"

"Hehehehe. Hahaha, that's moo-hole to you."

"All right, calm yourselves, Titans. We have a stakeout to commence, whether or not we're green and contemptible with hormonal confliction."

"Affirmative of the greatest enthusiasm! We must rigorously establish the pretense for this operation of the staking the outage! For we must apprehend the offending Unidentified F of the O with greatest alacrity, before the probability of its bastardly return for the theft of our bovine friends!"

"Hehehe, she said F of the O…"

Cyborg smirked as he poked his head out of the mechanical cow. "Yo, Star. You're pretty pumped about this stakeout, got some alien excitement from all this?"

"My enthusiastic adrenaline is nothing stemmed from anomalies which would be of concern, friend Cyborg. I am merely eager to defend the innocent and sluggish animals in which you deem as food and Beast Boy deem as compatriots!"

"Wait……she's right! You **do **eat all the guys around here, you oven on steroids! I think you know who you owe a lot of apologizing to!"

"Oh, boy. It's Jump City Zoo all over again."

"C'mon! It's long overdue for your karma load!"

"Bah! I'll send them an e-mail or something."

"All right, all right, we'll sort this all out in a cheerleader fashion later, provided after we capture or at least find out what this flying saucer wants from stealing cows. No matter how absurd and …….50's it all seems…."

Beast Boy giggled. "Dialing out to area 51, you're missing a wanker! And it's hightime for bell bottom pants again!"

Starfire nodded happily with a huge smile and stretched her latex as well. "Agreed! And to proceed with such a feat, we must all accordingly conceal our true appearances until the offender appears!"

"Ah! There! That was my second complaint! Why do we have to be on a stakeout in disguises? More importantly, I'm enrolled to be a pig!"

"I thought I explained that during the briefing."

"You know no one listens, Robbie, it's not exactly the most interesting crap we've ever suffered through as superheroes. The whole time, Cyborg was trying to see if he could still make his voice go pitchy high with helium."

Robin turned his masked eyes to narrow in on the android.

"Hey, don't you narrow your black mask at me! All I needed to hear was 'make a Cy-cow', everything else can be binary for all I care. And it's not like we're trying to pummel Slade in a rundown meat factory because he was trying to sabotage the Atkin's Diet."

"Hmm……" Raven droned, "although Beast Boy's role is very appropriate, I have to agree with him that this whole concealment stakeout idea is very out of the blue."

"See? Even the gothic scarecrow agrees with me!"

"It's not very entertaining to be covered with dry plants."

"Oh! But you must be prepared readily to act as an inanimate humanoid of crow scaring if the operation is to proceed fluently!"

Beast Boy snickered. "Hehehe, yeah, and maybe later, we can find a brain for you."

"I'm sorry, Beast Boy. I couldn't understand that, did you _oink _something? Because that was the only thing comprehendible you've said."

"Ahh….whatever, you flammable mannequin."

"I only hear '_oink oink'! I'm a little piggy short and stout._"

"Ehhh……go oink yourself."

"We must not dally much longer, for night time is arriving, and we must be within our respective posts before then! Come, friend Raven, I shall assist in dressing you in the straws of hay."

Robin blinked, and looked at the blue sky. "Ummm, Starfire, it's summer time. So the sun goes down after another three hours, and we're going fast enough, so there's no real need to be in such a haste…."

"Friends! We are of the dallying for too long as of this moment! Quickly! Cyborg, you must repair your bovine counterpart while I assist Raven into her nefarious crow battling disguise!"

Beast Boy opened his mouth again but was instantly carried away to the pig den on the other side of the farm and dumped into the mud with vigor.

"Holy oinkers! What the sundance crap was that for, Star?"

"Cease your earthling tongue, Beast Boy, and hastily engage your adaptation to the society of the piglets!"

Robin rubbed his black hair with a puzzled frown.

"Well…hum, Starfire is rather………zealous about getting this whole thing started……"

Raven shook her head. "Of course, we'll be role playing……with you and Starfire as a married couple in a farm land…….please connect the glowing dots."

The boy patted his head. "Oh……I didn't know Starfire liked doing skits. Maybe I should make a mental note of that."

"……………………maybe you should be in that muddy den." She commented before being swept away by a red blur.

"Allow me to assist you in undressing and preparations, Raven!" "S-starfire! Let me g-" The rest of the voices are already fading into the distant cottage.

Robin and Cyborg blinked. Robin held his nose for a moment. "……e-errghhh…" He shifted uncomfortably. "….I-I'll continue working on the artificial skin-I mean, yeah……, um, ahem……"

"….uh…yeah, I'll…….finish up the Cy-cow…."

Later----------

Starfire dragged a wool clothe clad Raven back with glee in front of Robin.

"I believe Raven's appearance is that of what is required, yes?"

The blinked as he saw the Titaness standing before him, looking like a new rendition of something out of a Medieval village. More precisely, like a witch. Raven did not appear entertained, but was only as bored as much as piece of blue hair dangled from within the hat.

"Um………Starfire? I don't really think that's exactly what a scarecrow looks like……"

"Oh? But were we not entreating to a spectacle of a standardization of out image and soulful personality?"

"Well, yes, but……"

With a sudden black flash, Raven's dark robe burst into pieces, revealing the leotard underneath, only leaving the pointy witch's hat unharmed.

"Eeeek! Your apparel has been obliterated!"

"With full intention."

"But you appeared so endearing!"

"Exactly the reason it suddenly died, with you in toe if you don't stow it."

Robin let loose a breath he held. "Whew……at least y-you were s-still wearing something underneath."

Raven crossed her arms. "Then stop undressing me with your eyes."

"Wha-wha? N-No, I-I, uh, you're cruel."

"Well noted."

_CLANK!_ "Yo! Watch the handle, BB!"

"Sorry, sorry! I just wanted to see if this thing could like shoot sonic blasts or something!"

"Why would I make the Cy-cow into a mandible tank? Oh, crud!" The mechanical cow tilted its head upwards and began trotting forward in a rapid spasm motion.

Beast Boy flailed from his position on the cow's behind and yelped as the cow charged into the group of live ones, with Cyborg yelling obscenities in the trail.

The cows dispersed from their gatherings in panic as the robot torpedoed throughout the field.

"………………….."

"………………….."

For some reason, Starfire giggled and clapped her hands.

Raven tilted her head, with the tip of the scarecrow's hat poking Robin's head.

Robin slapped his palm against his face. "Don't say it, please don't say it-"

"Holy. Cow."

"Arrrrgghhh…" He moaned and sat in the rocking chair.

Starfire saw the action and beamed. With a great smile, she flew and bounced unto the Titan leader's lap and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"S-Starfire?"

"Hehehehe! Come, Robin! We must entreat ourselves upon the thespian lifestyles and engage in a pretense of impromptu rehearsal!"

"R-rehearsal? B-but Star, we're just-"

"Aaaahhhh! Runaway mad cow disease! Dodge for your health!" Beast Boy shouted as he and the robotic animal made a beeline charge into the red farmhouse.

"Heeeee….look, my sweeten syrup! The _dro'lugen_ are playing with envious jocularity. Do not their efflorescence incite submerged memories of old?"

"Uh-um, y-you m-mean recklessness?"

"Oh, most affirmative my sweeten syrup! Heeee……"

"S-starfire! Where are your hands going! Your hands don't swivel below my belt, my belt! Wait, w-why am I feeling a s-sense of déjà vu?"

"Holy crudcicle! I can't stop iiiiiiittt!" Beast Boy's scream was heard with increasing clarity and volume as he and the robot charged straight at the sitting couple.

"Eeekness!" "Yikesness!"

**CRASH!**

"………………………." Raven watched the dust and the white commotion of life. She patted her cape and wiped away some mud that obviously made some airborne travels.

She folded her arms as she levitated away from the commotion. She reached towards her head for the hat, but stopped.

"……………………a witch, huh?" She left the hat on her head, and meditated.

Surrounded by crows.


	2. Go

"……………………………………"

"……………………………………"

Robin's black eyemask thins as he holds the white circular piece within his hands under the chin. Contemplating……

"…………………..hrm.."

"…………………"

He moves to place the stone piece, hesitates, retreats, and entreats himself once again.

"……………" A vexed scowl shows on his young, but battle hardened features.

"………………"

"…………"

"………….." He eyes the forming patterns of black and white around the board, as if an artistic piece was being amassed before the sets of eyes hindered by shadows, and the sets of eyes hindered by destiny.

Finally, the Boy Wonder places his white stone piece with finality, though seemingly mixed with concern.

"……………" With a wave of her hand, Raven levitates a black stone piece and swiftly as well as accurately plants it amongst the rest of its brethrens, while still holding a book.

Robin groaned as he tapped his head in slight frustration.

"Arrghhh……you'd think if I'm adequate at chess, I'd be able to hold my own against pebbles……"

"………you'd think……"

"Ugh, ouch."

"…………….." Raven flipped a page, "……………I did say it was more ………advanced."

"Well………I'm not exactly looking for a legitimate excuse for getting a proverbial beating of the rear."

"I wasn't providing one."

"Hmm, fancy that."

"………………"

Robin picks up another white stone piece and titers it back and forth between the knuckles, and scrutinizes it for a moment.

Raven flips a page.

A pause.

"You okay?"

Raven's finger abruptly shook for just a split instant on the edge of a page. "……besides suffering from a chance of diabetes from the amount of ice cream……I'm fine…" She said after she nodded.

"No, I meant: are you okay?"

"It's the same thing."

A sigh.

A pause.

"………" The boy stopped flipping the stone piece, "……why do you think these pieces……are so conventionally black and white?"

Raven's eyes moved up. "……excuse me?"

"Black and white……good and evil, maybe?"

"……………"

"It's the same thing with chess, there's always opposing sides, fighting, strategizing for dominance and victory. Black and white……it's what we're most comfortable with. The forces of good and evil...battling to achieve victory over the other; black and white…fighting over a nineteen by nineteen wooden board."

"……………."

Robin rests his stone piece on another dot on the board. "Coincidentally or otherwise, black goes first: evil makes the initial move then good follows up with a counteraction for prevention or other goals. It actually seems rather pointless, going over the same ol' cycle repeatedly throughout history, if only in rhyme. It's supposed to be really simple, and I used to think that is was just that. But it turned out that things were a lot more complicated than what was expressed to the eyes…that there's a lot of grey blurs, and then it becomes subjected to learning…"

Raven closed her book. "And what…what did you learn?"

"I learned that accepting reality was a lot more productive than philosophizing about every nook and cranny, and needing Advil for Beast Boy's tofu supreme."

The dark sorceress waved her hand over one of her black stone pieces. "Robin-"

"I finally realized the reason you always chose the color black for chess and now this……you think you deserve that color, don't you?"

"……………..."

"I'm correct, aren't I?"

A slight flicker. "What are you getting at?"

Robin scratched his head slightly. "Like I said before: we have a connection, I've seen things……slightly personal things, through your eyes too. It's alright to worry, heaven knows how lacking Beast Boy and Starfire trifle in that area..."

"…………………"

"I-I know it's not easy for you to hear this after everything, but……I'm your friend, Raven, and you can trust me…in fact, you deserve to be using the white pieces more than anyone else on the team."

"………………." Without a word, Raven places her black stone piece accurately on the board.

"Wh-what I'm trying to convey is that-"

"Thank you, Robin, but that's enough. I…I understand. Let's just……please just keep playing."

"Al-alright."

He hastily places a white stone piece.

She follows with a black stone piece to cover the corner.

He intercepts by cutting off the connection.

She connects on the other side.

He places his on the bottom.

She covers the west side.

"………………………"

"…………………….."

"…………the board looks……pretty big, actually…"

"……..." she nods.

A pause.

Raven looks up. "Do you…want to finish the rest of the ice cream?"

He nods. "Uh, yeah…that'd be a nice proposition, as long as we don't have to eat any of Beast Boy's tofu dairy products."

She nods. She and Robin both stand up and walks toward the kitchen.

"So, what flavor are you drooling for?"

A pause.

"Vanilla…….lots of vanilla."


	3. Halo

The master chief shot into the field of battle, damaging and killing all the nefarious Covenants in his path. They were no match for his strength and swift movements, that is, until he was accidentally stuck with a plasma grenade by a small alien known as the Grunt.

"Ah, cripes."

The blue flashes of digital death poured over and the master chief flew through the air toward an unknown vector of flailing arms and loss of dignity.

"Heh, reminds me of you during the last practice match with Robin."

"Dude, that little spandex wearing rodeo-warrior can kick anyone's butt out of that ring in two seconds, it's where his iron fists thrives! Not my fault I didn't have home field advantage."

"B.B. You were launched across room and out of the tower through the unfortunately placed window."

"Yeah, sure showed them who has wings even without Red Bull."

"…..how's that something to be proud of?"

"I'm not saying I'm proud, I'm just saying that I'm……ahhh……dead again."

"You've gotta ditch the sword, man, I doubt charging through a debris of alien corpses and misplaced grenades is gonna get ya across before you're shot into a hive, pun diligently intended."

"Dude, Cy, m'man, I know that. We've playing this thing like computer geeks whacking it since day one."

"Oh, gawds, B.B. Don't describe it like that!"

"Oh, yeah, forgot you've got nothing to whack with."

"J-just drop the topic right there, green balls."

"Hehehehehe. Crap, stupid Hunters."

The master chief ran through the Covenant stronghold, armed with double needlers with full ammunition. As he rounded the corner, the AI construct known as Cortana appeared and opened restricted and locked gates to allow the master chief to proceed further through the level.

"Hey, you ever notice that digital hottie, Cortana?"

"Ehh…………as normally as a guy would think of a digitally constructed humanoid character in a console game."

"Let me finish. I mean, don't you think she looks like Raven sometimes?"

"Ah? How the hell did you make that connection? Wait, are you saying Raven is hot?"

"Erhm……dude, I'm trying to be serious."

"Pffft, as if."

"Anyways, I mean, they both have purple hair, they both got some serious sarcastic voodoos going on, and they're, ya know, kinda bitchy."

"Gee, Beast Boy, are you complaining to me about Rae through video game conversation? Oooo, smacked to death."

"Damn hoofed bastards. I'm not complaining about her, well not in the general sense of Michael Moore, I'm just curious. I mean, we know about Raven as much as we know about Cortana in the game. She kicks butt, has tits, and talks to us. But that's barely it!"

"Gawds, B.B. Is that how you've perceived Terra?"

"O-of course not! But the point is that at least Terra conversed! You can't deny how lively she was……...w-was…and Starfire too, yeah……"

"………….well, she's definitely livelier than you right now."

"Argh. Sniped to heaven."

"B.B. Is there a general motive for this conversation? Not that I mind watching you get burned like a newbie while gibbering about our dark and mysterious chicas."

"……I-I don't know, maybe I'm just being rambunctious…"

"Definitely that, but speak your mind anyways, heaven knows how little of anything you have in there in the first place."

"Pffft! Grow some hairs."

"Hehehehehe…"

"……well, you remember when we accidentally got into her head, literally…?"

"Mmmhmm. Your fault entirely, I might add."

"Yeah, yeah, blame records aside, shouldn't we have,…..l-learned something? Like something about her past, or maybe even taste in lingerie and tampons."

"Umm, what about the red giant and his loincloth?"

"D-dude, I'm not joking about this."

"………….."

"C'mon, it's bad enough she keeps to herself like homophobic conservatives, guards her room with killing telekinesis, and stings everyone with her pessimism as well as her powers, then we'd just have to coincidentally know nothing about her, zero de nada!"

"Watch out for the―too late."

"Bleh! Covenant-raped. Anyways, you're somewhere along catching the drift of mine, right? And don't go say something about parroting Robin's '_she's our friend'_ shenanigan."

"Well, just for the record, he **is **right."

"S-so w-was Terra, dude."

"……………………"

Sounds of gunfire and explosions, along with the clicks of buttons.

Cyborg, studied the green elf's passive features, before he tipped his chin with a metal hand.

"B.B., what the hell are you worried about? That Raven will betray us like Terra did? Is that what you're fretting about?"

"………………."

The master chief took his battle rifle and aimed it at a nearby marine's head, and took a shot, causing blood and trust to flow across the ground.

"D-dude, it's just that easy. It **was **that easy."

"………………….."

"With everything that's happened and Slade's inferno return from Ohio, I don't know who to trust or what to worry. And I know it's time for some Boy Scout optimism, but it seems like there's gonna be a disaster in of itself."

"………………"

"……………….."

Twisting his hands slightly, Cyborg sighed. "…….in all honesty, I've got nothing to say to that. But what I do vehemently believe, or at least what I wish to believe, is that even though we don't know each other as personally as we should, we at the very least know that every single Titan is displaying their souls and base existence for the eyes of the others." He clenched his fist. "Victor Stone, Cyborg, whatever. It doesn't really matter what I'm called, as long as a villain knows it's me when they see my titanium fist in their nasal capillaries, and my friends know it's me when I make a crack about Judy Douglas. We're not lying, especially Raven. Frankly, she's got more halo on her than the rest of us, only it's incomplete. But it'll be fulfilled, I know it for sure. And as her friends, we gotta trust her, man. We can't doubt her now, because if we become afraid……th-then……we'll never overcome…our adversity toward our true enemy."

"…………….."

"Besides, she's got some excellent taste in lingerie…"

Beast Boy blinked. "Ga-wha?"

"Ha, haha, got your attention."

"Pfftt. You're nuts, you screws and bolts."

"Hehehehe…"

"Ha, from now on, you should say 'lol' or something."

"Heh. Android stereotypes, ya green goose."

The changeling smiled, and scratched his ear. "Hope for the best and all that jazz, eh?"

"Heh, yeah, well, I'll show you jazz, hand over the controls ya newbie! I'll beat the level with only using a plasma rifle!"

The sounds of jocularity and boyish conversations faded away, as the door shut closed with a hiss.

A dark shadow trailed where a person once stood, where the person listened to her fears and the same in her friends. A black spear that shortened as it traveled, an entrapment within broodings of prophecies and red eyes.

There should have been a whimper, a sigh, a resignation.

But there was just silence.

And definitely no halo.


	4. Ending

"Yo! Yo! Yo! We've managed to kick royal demon butt of Trigon onto a one-way trip back to the abyss, and now we're celebrating with waffles and French toasts! What a day to end all days! Uh……ignore that 'ending' thing……ahem…anyone wanna share their feedback from the parental demon encounter that could outdo anything on Jerry Springer's?"

"Hehehe! Dudes and dudetts, we've officially been upgraded to demon busters!"

"Oh, true jocularity has been concretely delivered to all the denizens of this Terra Firma as of today! Shall we commend this event with a series of the fireworks, or perhaps a Tamaranian flork gorbon?"

Beast Boy grinned. "Hey, that's not a bad idea, Star! We should frickin' get a holiday made out of this or something! Like, um, Titanpendence Day: World saved from the crotch face of Treegon!"

"Trigon."

"Right, whadda I say?"

"Treegon."

"Eh, potato, or stupid mofo. Oooo, tofu bacon!"

Robin smirked, arms folded. "Actually, it might not be such a mundane idea, Beast Boy. Though, with most of the city constricted within an unworldly phenomenon of temporary petrifaction, they were probably unaware of the entrance of Trigon into our dimension, let alone his bad breath."

"Yeah, and we would've been petrified to the ulcers as well if it weren't for our lil' gem of a princess: Raven!"

"Hooray for the bejeweled head of Raven!"

"Hehehe! Indeed, our dear ornamented Raven has been much responsible for the whooping of the inferno buttocks of the horned foe!" Starfire glided to the former key to the end of the world. "Raven, please please please please share your sentiments during the unholy encounter, I am simply expiring to know!"

Raven looked at the smiling face of the redheaded Tamaranian, passively. "Considering everyone was doing a lot of 'expiring' just hours ago, I can always try to summon Steven Kern for a commentary."

Beast Boy was chewing on a piece of his tofu bacon. "C'mon, Rahvon! Yu'v ghotta tahl ah lil' storwie wid dis ol' drug trup! (Gulp!) So say what you're thinking, cuz there's no harm in that anymore!"

"Azarath, Metrion…"

"Ugh, I take dat back."

Cyborg grinned. "Booya! She's back with a triumphant return, boys and girls! Heh, well, me and BB have been in your head before, there's no harm to do a little quick visit there again, is there?"

"Go suck on a suppository."

Robin nodded. "Well, Beast Boy is right. Trigon's been defeated and sent back to his infinite by infinite cubicle with one of his horns stuck in his arthritis, and you've overturned your own destiny in the most resplendent manner, talk about a perfect story for human interests. I'm curious as well, what's been on your mind through the whole event?"

"Heeee…" Starfire smiled with her hands clasped together, edging closer to Raven by the second with figurative stars in her eyes.

Raven tilted her head slightly, looking at Robin in a slanted angle. But that slanted glance seemed potent in defying all the previous bizarre, wanton reality that was presented before them.

And in moments more, she was inspecting the rest of the Titans in the same manner, the ones who did much more than tolerating her existence.

Elated, liberated, patient, curious, important, unique, and………alive.

Like leaves floating over the surface of a flowing river, Raven's eyes shined in a violet breeze, and her exuberant lips matched it in kind.

They took notice. They glorified the silence, because it was not deadly anymore.

Raven breathed instead of sighing, and finally: "……I……I was horribly trapped, by a realization in myself and of the world that surrounded me."

She rubbed her neck. "There was a moment during my uncharted contemplation that seemed so clear, a translucid speck beyond the black veils that was unbelievably crystalline. That…that there existed an answer, a…a s-solution of some sort, where I could have a choice, like a button to press. I thought I could at least save the things important to myself……even if the price was to accept a destiny I never desired. At that moment, I thought I was strong, tenacious enough to charge headstrong into the fray of my birthright. To fulfill something intended since the day of my creation…meant I was strong. Being able to accept the erase of my existence………was my resolution."

She gazed downward, at her own pale fingers. "…………………I was scared. I-I was terrified………I wasn't strong……………I reasoned that I believed in destiny, and that it was inevitable. Nothing can contest against the absurdity that was reality. I was entirely sure of it. In the facet of Trigon's diluting words…I…**knew** that every syllable was false. That the choices presented to me were nonsense. But fear……fear held me back, and so I went forward with the increments of a downfall, be it mine or the world's. And so I failed. I failed being a student of Azar, and I failed being a Titan. For that, I must apologize."

She returned her view to the attentive faces of her friends. "And that was when Robin showed up, and as usual, stuck his nose where it never belonged. And as usual, it was the wisest gesture from someone with a latent tendency of spandex wearing psychosis."

Robin blinked……then smirked, crossing his arms.

"………I then understood, that I had feared, because I thought there was no hope. All those past moments, spent on calculating and contemplating………and then I went ahead and shot those flames of resolution into embers of ashes. I was burying myself, and took everyone within the same abyss who was lingering on the side. But then…then you quasi-idiots…barged into senseless actions, just because there was a future to protect……and Azar knows why you were effective."

She looked at them in the eyes. "So I finally opted to open my own Pandora's Box, and I found the last bit of hope that was always seared within me, seeded from my birth and developed through my times as a resident in this tower. I realized that I could be truly strong rather than an apparatus, and admit that giving Elliot Hester a rim job is always a treat."

Beast Boy chocked on his tofu bacon.

Cyborg cackled. "Pwahahaha! Comically misleading……you're still full of hope yet, Rae. Ya sure there's not some more of that fatherly influence in ya?"

A pause.

A particularly eerie grin came about her face. "…………………………… (grin)………"

Cyborg sweated slightly. "………………….whew……….I can't decide if that's sexy or scary………"

Raven brought a hand to her mouth and giggled subtly.

"Raven, what is this career involving the 'rim' that has caused Beast Boy to strangulate his own throat?"

"Don't worry, Starfire, I'm certain you'll be able to put yourself to the test……for a certain random individual within this very _edifice_…"

Robin placed a hand on Starfire's shoulder. "Ugh……Star, I am strongly inclined to suggest a complete ignorance on that subject. And Raven, the hell?!"

Raven shrugged with the same grin. "I was simply enjoying my new found freedom………………and incidentally, th-thank you…I am grateful to you all. For everything and every time."

Starfire, who had been biting her lower lip and holding her hands to her chest during the whole speech, ceased resisting and smothered the empath with her iron hug.

"Ohhhhhh, dear friend. We are most grateful for your existence as well!"

"Gggnnn……th-then don't end it, Starfire!"

"Hehehe! Well, that was a speech that should end all speeches! We should've finished it with a toast, darn it. BB, stop choking and go fetch us some cups, I gotta work on the French toast!"

Starfire, after relieving Raven of her hug, spoke: "I shall be most delighted to assist you in the culinary celebration of our victory! On my planet, such an occasion demands the pottery of Smor'glor's gastric mucus!"

"Huh………wh-why don't you go help BB with the cups?" Robin suggested hastily. Then, as if an afterthought: "Y-you know what? I think I'll go get the cups. Can you help Beast Boy stop choking?"

Raven glanced at the choking changeling. "Agreed. I think he's turning smurfer each passing second."

"Max affirmative!" She chirped before floating to the grunting and gurgling changeling, and proceeded to execute a Hindemith maneuver that must have stemmed from some alien origin.

Robin winced.

Cyborg chuckled. "Haha… a pun, Raven made a pun!"

A raised eyebrow. "Does not compute."

"Pffft! You're full of it today, not that you haven't earned it, mind you."

"Mmmmm, yeah……" She mumbled as she trailed behind Robin, who was scratching his head as he made way toward the cabinets at the farther end of the kitchen.

Before Robin could reach the cupboard, it glowed with an obsidian, glassy glow, swung open, and some desired cup and mugs danced out wobblingly.

Robin blinked, turned around, and frowned. "You could've just volunteered…"

"Be glad, I was contemplating on opening the cabinet on your face."

"Har har, so freedom means violence?"

"Nope, it means the acceptance of your image being less than masculine." She tossed several discharged cups toward the Boy Wonder.

He caught them with ease, twirling a few on his fingers. "Condescending no matter what goes around, eh?"

"Fancy that, right?"

"Fancy exactly that."

Robin tossed a cup to Cyborg, who caught it on a plate with freshly prepared French toasts. "Hey hey hey! Disposable cups!? This is not maniacal pizza frenzy night! Don't we have anything more poetic, or at least polished?"

"Save for yourself?"

"Hey, an android-like guy needs to take a bath every now and then, figuratively speaking. I just 'bathe' with the T-car once in a while. As in a good ol' wax on, wax off."

"Azar forbid the image…"

Robin turned to the side. "Speaking of figuratively……Star, what's taking the anti-choking mission—"

At that very instant, Beast Boy spurted, coughed, and finally spat out a chunk of tofu substance that flew across the kitchen, and right into the smiling mouth of Silkie.

"………………………………" Everyone droned. Silkie chewed. It churned happily.

Starfire dropped the weezing elf and promptly hugs the worm emphatically, giggling. "Heeeheeee!! Is not dear Silkie such a wondrous entity of talents mounted into a compact, squishy ity bity of adorability!?"

Raven simpered. "……………………………………I digress, fancy **that**…"

Cyborg went ahead and shoved a cup into Beast Boy's face. "Welp, since I've just seen the largest loincloth in the history of soiled undergarments just a while ago, that wasn't the most disturbing thing on this side of the hemisphere, besides Richard Simmons, of course."

Robin coughed. "Hrm,"

Beast Boy sat up. "Oh. My. Gawd. I-I could have sworn I saw my life flash before my eyes!"

"Like scuba diving in the shot glass." Raven droned.

"Whoa-hey, I'm the only one allowed to make jokes about my own demise! Leave me something to remember myself by!"

Robin coughed again as he delivered another cup to Starfire, who was now at his side. "Ahem, let's just give a toast already for heaven's sake…"

Cyborg snorted. "Ahhhh, keep your pants……I mean, shorts……I mean, boxers…………………hey, that raises a good question―"

"For the love of—can't we leave a conversation on an intelligent note for once?" Robin mildly shouted with a slight blush creeping across his cheeks.

Starfire giggled.

Raven simpered, shaking her head in mock exasperation.

Beast Boy stared. "…………………………Wonder Woman has a tight ass."

Cyborg snickered. "Pwahahahahaha!!"

Robin covered his face with green gloved hands.

"Beast Boy!" Starfire gasped in disapproval.

"What!? Have you ever seen the pictures!? She has the most toned posterior of wonderment I've ever seen on something so full of estrogen beauty! Not to mention a set of gigantic―_OW_!" The changeling yelped as Starfire threw a well aimed starbolt that struck his head, and promptly stumbled to the ground.

"Hmph! Caf'genar dea simplor glempork," Starfire muttered as she crossed her arms in indignation.

Cyborg just cackled some more. "Hahahahahahaha! Oh, man, this is just so prettily hilarious! Somebody record this so I can reminisce while squirting milk out my nose!"

"OOOOWW!! My head, it feels like it's been hit with a sledgehammer! Dear gawd, I'm dying!"

"Heh, no worries, little man. If you were ever going to die, it will be at the hands of gastric worms or rabies."

The elf opened his mouth for retaliation, but choked his words back as a telekinesis-charged cup projected into his hands.

"Let's just end this so I can retreat back into my room and try to make voodoo dolls to initiate tremendous pain on all of you."

"Heh, now that's the Raven we know: having acid in her ovaries and isn't afraid to wear it on the outside."

Raven rolled her eyes.

Not waiting for any more ruckuses to start, Robin walked around and poured apple cider for all the Titans.

After, he walked back to his place beside Starfire.

The five all watched each other……silently………and neutrally…

"………………………"

"…………………………"

"………………………"

"……………………………"

"…………………………"

……… they all smiled.

Robin raised his cup toward the center of the group. "To a long, prosperous time for the Titans and the city!!"

The others join him.

"**CHEERS**!!"

They all downed their drinks.

"Booya! Now that was eventful! Time to serve up the French toasts! C'mon, help the chef out here!"

Beast Boy and Starfire immediately complied and occupied themselves at the kitchen.

The Boy Wonder and Raven leaned back against the couch together, with neither speaking.

A pause.

Finally…

"Robin," Raven addressed, "that story you told me………the one about the unfortunate girl………what happened afterwards?"

Robin blinked… then smirked. "Well…………the girl, Raven, eventually confronted her fears and uncertainties. Facing unbalanced odds, she struggled to prevail, but with the help of her friends…she succeeded. Her demons were chased away, and she defeated the biggest foe of life. Afterwards, she returned to her home……with all her friends, who support her, believe in her, and love her…and lived miserably ever after."

Raven smiled. "The perfect end."


End file.
